Tsunakun in Wonderland
by Kouga Myazawa
Summary: On a simple morning, Tsuna is somehow trnsported to a strange world where his friends and/or enemies are not what they should be. WARNING: crack, OOc situations, yaoi, and slight het. Not for the serious or uptight/critical folk. Please R R Thanks!


1**OMG I CAN"T BELIEVE I'm doing this. I know Alice on Wonderland parodies have been done, but I wanna take a crack at it. Please give it a chance!**

**WARNING: Do NOT read this if you get offended by humour, OOC situations, and crack pairings. **

Tsuna gasped and moan in his bed. The sun was halfway up as birds chirped. He let out one more gasped as he quickly sat up in his bed, panting heavily.

"Jeez, what a strange dream..." He muttered, reading 7:30 on the clock.

"Eh? That time already? I'm going to be late!!" He shouted, quietly, but quickly putting on his Namimori uniform.

--

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm so frickin' late!" Tsuna chanted over and over, running as fast as the little pipsqueak could run.

Which wasn't very fast.

"It's really late, it's really late, it's really frickin' late!" A small voice chirped from behind Tsuna. He turned around and noticed... Basil. On a skateboard. In a bunny suit.

"It's late, late, late, late...eth!" Basil kept chanting, balancing himself on the speedy skateboard.

Watching Basil do what ever on Earth he was doing was quite distracting, and before tsuna knew it, a black hole appeared before him.

"EEEHH!!" Tsuna shouted, falling into the black hole.

"HIIIIII!" He screamed, falling deeper and deeper into the black hole

27272727272727272727272727272727272727

Tsuna groaned as he rubbed his bottom in agony. Stumbling, he stood up to find himself in complete darkness, except for a blueish light coming from behind him. He turned around out of curiosity, surprised at what he saw.

As he came closer, he noticed someone very familiar hanging on an elegant door.

"L-Lal Mirch?" Tsuna stammered, as he stared at the tough-skinned woman, hanging on the door before him. He gasped slightly when the said Lal opened her eyes. She sighed.

"Hello, welcome to Wonderland, blah blah whatever, just open this door and get the hell out." He scoffed, looking indifferent. It was Lal alright.

"Wonderland? Wait, the door? Huh?" Tsuna was confused. First off all, he didn't know where he was, and now Lal was blabbering something about a fairytale.

"What is your name?" Lal asked, crossing her arms.

"Huh? You know my name, Lal! I'm Tsuna!"

"What's this Lal person you keep talking about? I'm a door, I don't have a name, weirdo!"

Tsuna froze. What did she just say? Tsuna decided that this was just a dream, so he decided to play along.

"Ok. So this is a door?" Tsuna asked sarcastically, pointing at Lal.

"Yeah...what did you think it was?" Lal asked, arching an eyebrow.

"A...woman...?"

"..." Lal burst into laughter, startling Tsuna.

"You gotta be kidding me! You're a really funny moron!" She guffawed, wiping away tears. "Alright hurry up, turn the knobs, open the door, and get through."

"What knobs? I don't see any!" Tsuna said, looking side to side.

"Right here." Lal said briefly, lifting her breasts, which...shocked Tsuna.

"Those...are knobs?"

"Yes! Please open them now!" She hissed, getting annoyed as she grabbed Tsuna's hands on the place Tsuna thought he'd never touch his whole pathetic life. Then Lal embraced him, and he felt his face on Lal's bosom, and he was about to burst into tears, having his face in a place he'd never thought would be in his natural, pathetic life. Let alone his hands as well. And it had to be Lal of all people! Either way, Lal was pretty much not flat at all.

Tsuna slowly opened his eyes again, and noticed himself in an entirely new place this time. He looked side to side, noticing a meadow of flowers and some trees.

"Ni hao!"

Tsuna looked before him, and there stood another surprise.

"Adult I-pin! Two of them!" Tsuna shouted, falling on his butt in shock. Sure enough, there were two adult I-pin's, posed in kung fu-like stances, one in a blue Chinese dress, and one in red.

"Shall we fight?" They both said at the same time, confusing Tsuna.

"Eh? Fight? I can't fight! Especially not you, too—UGAAAAAH!" He was interrupted by legs and fists aiming at him at quick speed, and he did his best to dodge.

"I can't fight! Please stop!"

Just when he thought they did stop, red and blue electric bolts formed in their hands. An earthquake came, and soon, Tsuna was falling through cracks in the earth.

"I WANNA WAKE UUUUUP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, thinking that the two I-pins were the last person he'd ever see. Thinking that he was probably in some harem-like dream full of his female friends acting strangely, he was in for a big surprise.

2727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727

Tsuna whimpered, as his vest clung on for dear life on a weak branch of a tell tree, below being another flowery meadow. Tsuna cried out in exhaustion as he heard his vest rip, and his buttons pop out. As he fell, he shrieked like a schoolgirl, this being the third time he fell from such a height. When it was all over, he stood up, and noticed his vest and button missing, and all that was left was his tie, and now undone shirt.

He noticed a table off in the distance, and as he limped closer, a teapot and cup. His curiosity got the best of him, and he walked up, and was slightly startled by the teapot which began moving by itself. A note on the table read "drink me", and the teapot poured tea into the small cup, which floated up to Tsuna, implying that it wanted him to drink.

"Should I drink this? I kinda am thirsty..." He said to himself, hesitating to grab the arm of the cup.

Big mistake.

He took one sip of the scalding, delicious tea, and instantly dropped it, and soon he felt himself shrinking. Seconds later, he found himself in a forest of flowers as big as trees.

"_Eh? What's going on this time?" _He thought to himself, as he clung onto his shirt to keep it closed, and continued walking ahead.

Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27 Kokuyo27

For what seemed like hours, Tsuna kept walking and shivering until he heard a small voice off in the distance.

"Sir." The voice announced. Tsuna looked side to side, trying to find who said his name.

"Kufufu...up here, little one." It said again.

Tsuna stopped dead in his tracks. He sensed that Mukuro was dangerously near, and he began to get a bit frightened. He looked up, and surely he caught a glimpse of Mukuro and his Kokuyo friends...in a glass teapot.

"M-Mukuro!!" Tsuna shouted, stepping back a few. "Mukuro! Please tell me where I am!"

Tsuna noticed Mukuro's hand reaching up, and his trident appearing. He he stepped back a bit, sensing he should run. Strangely, a red, rope-like laser grew on the trident, and then it appeared around Tsuna, wrapping itself around his lean torso. Once the laser disappeared suddenly, Tsuna seemed to be floating, until he found himself in the teapot. The sight he was seeing made his face turn a deep shade of red, and made his heart skip a beat. Those weren't Kokuyu uniforms they were wearing.

Mukuro was dressed in a green suit, elegant, like a gentleman's. His gloves were white, pants were black, and there was a top hat resting on his head with '10/6' imprinted on it, which hid his pineapple-shaped head. Chikusa only had silver boxers and mouse ears on his hair, whereas Ken had the same, only he had orange bunny ears, and his boxers were yellow.

_Are they cosplaying?_

"M-Mukuro! You do know where this is, right?" Tsuna blurted out.

"Mukuro? Oh no, I am the Mad Hatter, and this is the March Hare." Mukuro said smoothly, a smirk forming on his face. Tsuna tilted his head, thinking Mukuro actually did go mad. And that thought was proven, when he noticed Mukuro forming a sly smile, scooting over behind him.

"This? This place is here..." He whispered, slowly wrapping his arms around Tsuna's unbuttoned torso.

Tsuna just gulped, and asked patiently again, not wanting to anger Mukuro.

"But...where exactly _is_ here?"

"Here..." Mukuro whispered, inserting his hand into Tsuna's damaged shirt, allowing his gloved hand to ghost over Tsuna's abdomen and solar plexis. "Is...here..." Another chuckle escaped Mukuro's lips, dangerously close to Tsuna's ear. He could feel Mukuro's breath running down the side of his neck.

"W-wait a sec...!" Tsuna squeaked out, trying to scoot away. But when he tried, he felt something warm on his other side. Chikusa was on the opposite side of Tsuna, preventing him from escaping.

"Um...I think I should leave now..." Tsuna suggested, attempting to stand up. But not only were the two men holding him down, but he felt pressure on his thighs as well. He looked down to see Ken kissing up Tsuna's inner thigh, and the closer he got to Tsuna's crotch, the more violent Tsuna's legs began shaking. It was when Ken bit down on the zipper, that made Tsuna snap.

"LET ME GO!!" He shouted, using all his might to escape. And with a big tug, he managed to get the trio off, and jump out of the teapot.

"Dang it..." said Mad hatter cursed out, feeling disappointed.

Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27 Ryo27

Tsuna ran and ran, until his legs gave up. Panting onto a nearby tree, he noticed that there was a moon out already.

"Eh? Nighttime!? That means I skipped school! Hibari is going to be pissed! I'm so dead! Uwaaaaaaah!" Tears splashed out of Tsuna's eyes like anime waterfalls, as his gagging noises disturbed a certain creature in the nearby tree...

"Nyahaaaaaaa..." A yawn echoed through Tsuna's ears, making him halt his crying, gagging, and OTLing and made him turn around to see where it came from.

"Yo!" The (oh-so-familiar) man said before him, sitting on the tree.

"R-Ryohei!" Tsuna shouted, trying to catch what he was seeing. Ryohei's clothes consisted of a tight, yellow t-shirt, yellow boxers, boxing clubs that strangely resembled cat paws, (they were even on his feet) and a cat tail and ears.

"Ryo...R...yohei! Please! Please tell me you know where I am!" He shouted, at the strange cosplaying boxer. The boxer just yawned in reply, and grabbed Tsuna's chin, lifting it up so their eyes met.

"YOUR NAME IS?" 'Ryohei' said in his usual EXTREME tone, startling Tsuna quite a bit.

_But doesn't he already...oh wait, is he also pretending to be someone else?_

"Tsu...Tsuna..." Tsuna stuttered.

"I'm the Chesire Cat! It's EXTREMELY nice to meet you!" He chirped, hopping onto the ground. "Ya know, you're EXTREMELY cute! Mind if I show you a little something?"

"E-eh?" Tsuna blinked twice, nervous by Ryohei's sudden flirting. "Um...no thanks..."

"Aw, come on! Not even a little?" Ryohei winked, pushing Tsuna to the ground and crawling on top of him.

"N-no! Let go! Get off!" Tsuna's body became tense, and he did not want to get into this kind if situation again.

"Just relax..." Ryohei whispered, in a tone that was quite unusual for his personality. Slowly, he stuck his hand inside Tsuna's shirt, coping a feel of the shivering chest beneath.

"NO!! Somene save me!!" Tsuna cried out, shutting his eyes with his arms, and kicking his legs. He kicked and kicked until he felt light piercing through his eyelids. He gasped and sat up instantly, Ryohei nowhere to be seen. Morning had come so quickly, it was strange. Tsuna noticed a few persons in the distance. Stumbling, he tried to cover himself with his shirt, lacking buttons and vest, and went towards the commotion, hoping to find help...

182718271827182718271827182718271827182718271827182718271827

"_It's the Varia!" _Tsuna thought as he looked before him. There was Lussuria, wearing nothing but an apron and a skirt, designed like playing cards. It looked though as if he were painting Xanxus, who had a giant rose on his backside.

That's Lussuria for you.

"Excuse me, Luss- er...sir." Tsuna corrected himself. He realized by now that everybody was not themselves. "Um...may I ask what you're doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, sweetie?" 'Lussuria' said in his usual tone.

"Um...it seems as though you're painting a...rose...?"

"That's right!" Lussuria cooed, finishing up painting Xanxus's strange white tux, red. "We have to paint these roses red. The queen likes red roses, but we only have white ones."

Tsuna sighed as he walked into another strange situation. He looked around the scenery before him. There were others, mostly girls, in the same playing card-design aprons, painting the white tuxedos and giant butt-roses red on other Varia members, and some unknown men as well.

"Ushishishi, if the queen finds out what you're doing, you'll get punished, that's for sure" 'Belphegor' giggled, tapping his foot in impatience for 'Bianchi' to finish painting him. "Even the king is afraid of his queen. But that moron is afraid of anything."

"Am not!" A voice shouted from a nearby tree. Tsuna turned around and hear someone screaming and thudding. Dino came out from behind the bushes, with leaves and grass in his hair. "I am not - ow - afraid of my darling wife!" The "king" whined, making Tsuna sigh in embarrassment.

"Oh, I don't really _mind_getting punished by the Queen of Hearts, to be honest." Lussuria purred, cupping his face while blushing. Tsuna laughed nervously, forming a sweat drop.

"I wanna get punished by the queen, too!" A voice shouted.

_K-Kyoko!?_

"Me, too!!"

_Haru!!_

"Me, as well..."

_Chrome??_

"I wanna be punished, too!"

_GOKUDERA!?_

Tsuna just wanted to get away form this place now. He turned around to leave, but found himself face to face with a familiar person, in a not so familiar outfit.

"Q-queen!" Lussuria shouted in a tone that was both frightened and...turned on.

"_Hibari's the Queen of Hearts? AND WHAT IS HE WEARING!?" _Tsuna shouted in his mind, seeing the sadistic prefect with his usual tonfas, and a very unusual...what seemed to be a dominatrix outfit., complete with long pointy horns where his nipples are, a small thong-like bottom, leather and chain straps for a top, and a long flowing cape with the Namimori middle school logo imprinted on it. There were a few heart-shaped designs on his crazy outfit as well.

"Which herbivore is responsible for this?" Hibari hissed, glaring at the horrified 'cards' before him.

All of them shouted at the same time. "It's me!" "I'm responsible!" "This is all my fault!" and many more related messages. The whole racket angered 'Hibari' even more. He walked up to Tsunas and used his tonfa to lift Tsuna's chin up harshly, making him squeak in surprise.

"Who are you?" He said coldly, glaring into the poor younger boy's eyes.

"Ts...Tsuna..." The middle-school squeaked out, giving Hibari back a frightened look in his eyes.

Slowly, Hibari reached out behind him, and Tsuna gasped at a crackly noise. When did Hibari own a whip?

"Herbivore!" Hibari shouted, cracking the whip very close to Tsuna. "Kneel down and lick the scum of my boots!"

"H-huh?" Tsuna replied, hesitantly.

"HEY, THAT'S MY WHIP!" Dino shouted. But one Hibari pulled his glare in him, Dino eeped and ran off. Hibari turned around and noticed Tsuna wasn't there anymore. He looked further ahead and saw him running. Hibari smirked, as he dashed off after him, cracking the whip again and again.

"Leave me alone!" Tsuna shouted, running as fast as he could. But Hibari was catching up, cracking his...Dino's... whip more times. Hibari cracked his whip once more, and this time the whip wrapped itself around Tsuna five or six times, causing him to fall. Slowly, he felt himself being dragged.

"You must call me your Queen!" Hibari shouted, slowly dragging Tsuna closer.

"No! Let me go! Tsuna struggling. But he realized that wasn't going to happen.

"Someone help!!" He cried out. "EYAAAAHHH!!"

2727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727

"UWAAHHH!!" Tsuna shrieked as he sat up, breathing hard.

"That was some wacky dream..." Tsuna whined, rubbing his temples, feeling a headache. "But it was only...a dream...I' so relieved."

Groaning, he stood up, looking at the 7:30 on the clock.

"Oh no! I'm going to be late! Hibari's gonna kill me!" Tsuna yelled, putting on his uniform, and running out.

"Reborn! Mom! Dad! I'm leaving!" He shouted as he ran outside.

"I'm late, I'm late! I'm so freakin' late!" He chanted over and over, as he heard a rolling of wheels behind him.

"It's late! It's late! It's so freakin' late!" A familiar voice announced behind the all-to-aware teen.

Tsuna turned around in horror to see Basil riding a skateboard, in a bunny suit...

--

**Whew! This was rushed at some points some not. Well I might make more chapters of this. As you have now guessed, this is based off of Alice in wonderland, but based of a yuri OVA known as "Miyukichan in Wonderland. Which means there are more chapter than this, yes. Wait patiently for the next chapter: Tsunakun in Mirror land!**


End file.
